Miscellaneous Mental Musings of an Emerging Artist
A LIST OF BASELINE QUESTIONS FOR GUESTS ON MY PROPOSED HALF-HOUR INTERVIEW SHOW “FORTHRIGHT TONIGHT,” A FORUM ALLOWING CONSERVATIVE AMERICAN POLITICIANS TO SPEAK HONESTLY TO THE NATION.
1) Where did you grow up?
2) How long have you been interested in politics?
3) Where were you educated?
4) What do you consider your greatest accomplishment?
5) What is wrong with you people?
6) Do I need to repeat myself?
7) What is WRONG with you people?
8) Where do you think you’re going?
9) What gave you the impression you could leave the studio?
10) Didn’t you notice actor and former football player Terry Crews guarding the exit?
11) So seriously: What is wrong with you people?
12) What is wrong with you specifically?
13) The terrible thoughts you have and things you say: Do you write and rehearse those things in front of a mirror, or are they spontaneous windows into your tattered, pungent sponge mop of a soul?
14) Do you in fact believe the things you say or are they things you say to continue amassing power and influence?
15) Do you realize how stupid you sound?
16) Do you ever awaken in the middle of the night with the comprehension that history will judge you as harshly as it has judged your philosophical forebears?
17) Who or what would you say caused the most damage to your psyche to make you turn out this way?
18) If you could speak to the child you once were, how might you justify to them the monstrosity you have turned out to be?
19) Do you think they would forgive you?
20) Do you need a hug?