Creative Control

Miscellaneous Mental Musings of an Emerging Artist

Golden Boys.

trump_leo

A SHORT SPECULATIVE PLAY IMAGINING THE MEETING BETWEEN PRESIDENT-ELECT DONALD TRUMP AND OSCAR-WINNING ACTOR LEONARDO DICAPRIO

Leo: Good afternoon, Mr. President-Elect.

Donald: Hey. Hey. You can call me Donald.

Leo: Are you sure?

Donald: I have a lot of respect for you. A lot of respect.

Leo: That’s very flattering to hear, Mr. Presi–Donald.

Donald: You’re a good kid. And I loved you in that movie you did, the one about the undercover police.

Leo: The Departed.

Donald: Sure.

Leo: Anyway. Donald, I’m glad you agreed to meet with me. I wanted to talk to you about how dire the climate situation is–

Donald: –what was Naomi Campbell like?

Leo: Sorry?

Donald: Naomi Campbell. You banged her, right? And what’s her name, the chick who married Tom Brady.

Leo: That’s not why I’m here, sir.

Donald: I know, but let’s talk guy to guy. You know. Two guys who got a lot of supermodel ass.

Leo: I’m not interested in–

Donald: I mean, I probably got a lot more than you, but I’ve also got a few decades on you.

Leo: Please, sir. I need you to hear me about climate change.

Donald: It’s a hoax.

Leo: I’m sorry, it really isn’t.

Donald: It’s a hoax, it’s a conspiracy by the Chinese to undermine American businesses.

Leo: That’s not–

Donald: It’s settled. It’s done. Climate change is not going to be a priority of my administration.

Leo: All due respect, it’s not about–

Donald: You don’t want to share? Fine. Don’t share. Secret Service guys, get this Hollywood liberal out of here. I’m going to tweet about this for a bit.

Leo: Wait. Wait, sir. (sighs) She has a birthmark.

Donald: Who does?

Leo: Naomi.

Donald: Go on.

Leo: On her upper thigh.

Donald: I’ll bet it is. What shape?

Leo: It’s in the shape of the piece of the polar ice shelf that broke off and melted last month.

Donald: Nice try. Next time I have you thrown in jail. Get out.

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This entry was posted on December 8, 2016 by in Uncategorized.
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