Miscellaneous Mental Musings of an Emerging Artist
So for the past couple of months I have been participating in Project Rockstar, an online simulation game that turns you into the manager for a British band of your creation. It’s easy to figure out and doesn’t require as much maintenance as The Sims. I highly recommend it.
So my band, One Hand Clapping , has been through a year of unsuccessful singles, sold-out gigs and barely-sold gigs in larger arenas, rock scandals and flim-flam men. The band played the birthday party of a German count and our bass player ended up running off with him and getting married, requiring a change in personnel. The new bass player boosted band sales–twice–by being photographed naked and drunk on the roof of one of London’s swankiest hotels, and we won a settlement against a hack author who claimed she had photographs of me abusing myself in my office (all lies).
Yesterday, I discovered that my vocalist/keyboard player, Ms. Sheelah Sugden, was so deeply depressed that she committed suicide while I wasn’t looking.
I know that these aren’t real characters. But there is a sense of loss, somehow, over this character who was never much more than a neat name, attached to a few icons expressing her abilities as a singer and keyboard player. We had to immediately hire a replacement, but it appears to have done little to aid the band’s depression. The bassist seems to be doing better, but my drummer and guitarist are still very upset. I’m not sure if either of them were sleeping with Sheelah, or if they only loved her as a friend and bandmate.
I’m sorry, Sheelah. I wish I’d seen your pain, expressed in purple letters next to your name on the Band Status screen. The next tepid single the band produces will, I assure you, be in your memory.
 This is my little joke. What is the sound of One Hand Clapping? It’s kind of a folk-rock with keyboards. Our songs have all been titled after philosophical principles and luminaries. Our first single was the weakly-performing “Kierkegaard Dogs” and our most successful single has been the wily ballad “Tree Makes No Sound.”
Current music: Sibilance Two, a second CD I’ve burned containing live and acoustic performances. At current, the album is playing an acoustic radio performance of “Scarecrow People,” by XTC.