Creative Control

Miscellaneous Mental Musings of an Emerging Artist

Bedlam Living Room.

When it rains, it pours, but I am so, so happy that the weather has gotten nice. My girlfriend and I have maintained an ongoing discussion about one day moving out to California–she is for, I’m slightly against. I feel strongly that I would miss the changing of seasons, but then again, having dealt with such a bad transition these past few weeks, I could stand for a year of clear blue skies, perhaps.

Speaking of California, I am not writing/revising my scripts and I should be. I find myself in a bind that I have previously only imagined happening in the big film business–namely, the Artistic Moral Dilemma. While avoiding detail, I can state that my choices are to continue with a group which is doing wonders for me as a writer, and which I can foresee doing great things for me career-wise, but which is currently dealing with an internal strife that may lead to the excision of a group member who I have become close friends with. While I am starting to think it might be best for both my friend and the group if the two went their separate ways, I also would like to maintain a working relationship with the expatriate artist even if I stay within the group. In time, I think such a thing can be done; but right now, my reading is happening next week, and I’m mired in transitional nightmares, because it seems I can either invite the leader of my group, or I can invite my friend. At a base form, this is a loyalty versus ambition conflict. Damn. Maybe I really am a dramatist.

Part of me wants to cancel altogether. The bottom line is that it’s my reading, I’m not comfortable, and I don’t want to let loose my script with that sort of thing happening around me. I don’t know. Tough call, tough call.

In better news, I have been cast as the Stage Manager in a one-night-only production of a one-act play by Thornton Wilder (“Our Town”). If Wilder uses the Stage Manager in the same manner as he did in Grover’s Corners, then essentially, I’m a narrator. The show goes up June 18th, I should be getting my script today. I’m leveling out between nervous and excited right now.

Things to decide, things to write. Sometimes I wonder if these two things will be the summary of what the rest of my life will be like.

Current music: Squirrel Nut Zippers, “Bedlam Ballroom”

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This entry was posted on April 11, 2002 by in Life, Love, Plays, Theatre, Travel, Writing.
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